A trip through life….

So the other night I found myself trying to corral horses back into their pasture. We got them to a certain place in the road and saw that the best opportunity was for me to move around behind the horses through a thicket and onto the other side of them so they would have no place to run but into the pasture.

This is where the fun began.

I ran around looking for the best way to get through the thicket and saw that there looked to be a good clear path on the other side of what looked like a small clump of trees.

As I started to move through the trees I got stuck on what ended up being a barbed wire fence and had to strain and push my way through branches and over the barbed wire fence to get to the pathway.

Once I was through that I started off on a quick pace towards the road through the path. It going was not too hard at all, save for a few minor bushes or branches I had to push through to keep in the clear path.

Then I got to the thicket keeping me from the road. Not having much time and my dad calling me to hurry up from the other side I dove into what looked like the path of least resistance to get to the road. Sticks and branches hit me in the face and I was pulled in all directions pushing and pulling with all my might to get through the thicket to my goal, getting to the road. I finally poked my head out and just had to pull out my legs and pulled and broke every stick and branch I could on my way through and finally made it to the road.

Oddly thinking over the situation today, I had a revelation of sorts, that it totally seemed like an analogy to my Dibor year. At the beginning I pushed and pulled through a lot of junk in my life just to get there, even fighting against stuff that I didn’t even know was there until I pulled the branches away to see the barbed wire in my life that I had to pull out. But I made it to the clearer path of the Dibor year, and for a while was on the quick pace through the year. Pushing through the random junk in my life and just kept moving forward. But then came the end and the even bigger thicket. Stuff I had left in my life for years and it was staring me in the face keeping me from reaching that total freedom in making my goal. The last few weeks has been the pushing through the thickest parts, and I feel I have finally poked my head through, and the last 2 weeks are here, there for me to work out the rest and get my whole self onto the road that I’m supposed to be on.

I know I will pull through, and make it there in completeness, and though I never want to go back, I know that I left a trail of broken branches and sticks that will make any next trip down that path much easier going. Broken sin and issues in my life that can never grow again, but just left to die more.

Jesus, be my lifesource…

What if God really was my strenth? What if He was the sole thing I pulled my drive from, the very thing that I got my determination from? What would that even look like?

We were in an extended time of worship a few mornings ago just to a random mix off of a computer (yea God can move through that too!), and my heart attitude that came out of it was I needed God to be my drive, my passion for life. See whenever I have stuff come against me, I can almost always dig down deep and find enough determination to push through whatever I need to get through. It has worked for me in the past, and probably could work in the future. But I’m becoming less and less certain that it is the way that is the most healthy. I need God to be my life source, that’s the way He intended it right?

Not even sure I know how to do that………

A trip to the “city that never sleeps”

Biblical Themes:

The biggest Biblical them for me personally was the concept of, do not worry about what you will say, because at the time you need it the Holy Spirit will give you the words to say. I did not walk around constantly seeing people I had words for. It was just by faith walking up to them and beginning to speak. But just about every time whatever words were coming out of my mouth eased their spirit and you could see it in their eyes and face.

Personal challenge:

My biggest personal challenge was trying to be led by the Spirit and not just my mind. Especially through leading the team, my mind was constantly moving, thinking about one thing or the next. But there were times I just needed to quiet my mind, quiet my spirit, and just listen. There are moments throughout life that your mind will fail you, all your thoughts are not enough and you have to rely on the Spirit to lead you in those times. I had a couple moments like that, and a couple moments where I was able to quiet my spirit. It seemed like even while looking for people I was not led by the Spirit though. Maybe it was just me, I’m not sure. i do know that out of it seemed to come a boldness to just walk up to anybody and start talking to them, and I could feel God in the those moments. The line of Smith Wigglesworth’s “I do not wait for God to move, I make God move” kept replaying in my head over and over again, and I tried to walk in that.

God’s faithfulness”

God showed His faithfulness over and over again in those few days to the team. Mainly in food and money. Especially at the beginning we started off thinking we were gonna be negative on money and have no food. we ended up through God’s faithfulness and people’s faithfulness to follow what I believe was God’s direction (yes, even at time in the unsaved), having a surplus of money and food. It was truly incredible.

The way Jesus did it

I see a man, looks tired and worn out….

A woman prim and proper, has it all together…

A young kid sittin on the streets, the clothes on his back is all he has….

Another young man, suit and tie, ready to take on the world….

They are all in the same area, barely 20 feet separating them all in distance, but miles separating them in life. They look so different from each other, but they all have one common need. That is the love of Jesus in their life.

For so long I’ve walked by people of all different walks of life, call it boredom, call it apathy, call it self-focus, too busy, not even looking. I can alway make excuses, now it just seems stupid.

When I came face to face and saw the hurt and the loneliness in the eyes of even the best looking, most dressed up people, something in my heart changed. Something cried out inside of me that I just wanted to somehow show them God’s love for them. It didn’t matter if it was giving them a cup of hot chocolate, praying for them, sharing the gospel message, or simply just giving them a smile on their way by, I just wanted to let them see the love. For once its so much less about what goes on inside the doors of the church and so much more about what people can be touched on the streets.

It’s the way Jesus did it, and He is our greatest example……

The end of my life……..

Job 29:11-17

¹¹ Whoever heard me spoke well of me,
       and those who saw me commended me,

 ¹² because I rescued the poor who cried for help,
       and the fatherless who had none to assist him.

 ¹³ The man who was dying blessed me;
       I made the widow’s heart sing.

 ¹⁴ I put on righteousness as my clothing;
       justice was my robe and my turban.

 ¹⁵ I was eyes to the blind
       and feet to the lame.

 ¹⁶ I was a father to the needy;
       I took up the case of the stranger.

 ¹⁷ I broke the fangs of the wicked
       and snatched the victims from their teeth.

After much of Job’s life had been lived this is what he had to say about it. This was a man God called “blameless and upright”, obviously the type of guy you would want to listen to. To heed his words, and to live a life like his, and this is what he did. He rescued the poor and orphan, helped the widow, he was a father to the needy and the stranger, he confronted the wicked and saved the opressed. He was a man that used his great wealth and influence to fill every need he saw.

I have big dreams in my life. I want to be a CEO/President of a major corporation, and then go on to own my own companies (make lots of money ). But this is not all not for myself, but rather that when I, like Job, sit back and examine my life I could say that I filled every need that I came across, if in any way I could. That I could truly sit at the end of my life and see that I brought heaven’s kingdom to earth by filling the needs of the people that I came in contact with.

That is my heart goal, desire, and dream.